Dating Etiquette for Valentine’s Day
Should you pick a rose on the way for the lady? Is it too cheesy to plan a dinner date for Valentine’s Day? Does the guy need to be given a gift? Are thousands of these questions hovering in your head as we step into the month of love? Here are a few answers from an etiquette point of view.
Make Plans
Pay attention to your better half to see whether there is a new restaurant or hotel they seem to be keen to go to, whether there is any new attraction s/he is keen to see, and draw up a plan. Make reservations, talk to the staff at the venue and see what you can do for a special personal experience, and map out the timings. Since it is a weekday, make sure that you give notice of your intended plans if you need to start off early. There is no need to give specifics, but say what time you want to start off and whether the place is likely to be cold or windy. It is a day of love and fun, not one that should be filled with anxiety and annoyance.
The Question of a Gift
Giving the lady a bunch of red roses or a box of chocolates is a beautiful gesture but if you know your better half very well, try to opt for something that is more personal and top it off with a rose The protocol does not mandate that the gentlemen are given gifts (sorry guys, it really is not a part of my grand scheme of things). Having said that, nothing is lost by doting over your man, so feel free to go ahead and pick something they would appreciate. If it is a first date or a blind date, going empty-handed is perfectly fine.
The Prep and the Commute
Pay attention to these finer details and minute matters which show that you genuinely care and that you have planned things out well. It is not just the dinner or the wine, it is not how expensive the gift is or how much you have spent on your suit. Instead, it is what you say and do and how much extra you do just to make your partner feel special and wanted. Be practical but at the same time, be thoughtful and go the additional mile. If you are picking the lady up from her place, do go in and say how do you do to the parents. Be calm, smile, talk and be friendly – don’t look too eager to leave.
Who Pays?
Whoever hosts has to pay and there really is no need to negotiate ongoing 50-50. If it was your idea and you raised the invitation, please foot all the bills. If your partner opts to pay one of the smaller bills; say the dessert bill, you can let it go, but that should not be a part of the plan. Make sure you have a backup in case your card doesn’t work.
What is Too Late or Too Early?
This should be a part of the plan – if you intend to be out till late, make sure that it is communicated and the folks at home are aware. You don’t want to be answering panic-stricken all from Sri Lankan parents every half an hour after 1010 PM, believe me, it is not cool. If it is the first date or very early on in the relationship, don’t go overboard – try to wrap things up and drop the lady home well before midnight. Planning to finish before 10.30 PM though may look like you lack interest and have nothing in common.
To answer the question about whether it is too cheesy to make plans for Valentine’s Day, I can only say ‘Everything is fair in love and war’, therefore, go ahead, but have a plan and execute it well so that it does not come across as a cheesy idea. Instead, sweep your better half-off his or her feet and make it a memorable experience filled with joy. At the same time, love is not meant to be for one day of the year; it is a lifelong effort that must be pursued with unrelenting dedication.
Before you set your best foot out, write to us at [email protected] if you need more tips from an etiquette point of view. Happy Valentine’s Day folks!
Till I return with ‘Full of Etiquette’ next week, stay safe!
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Praveeni Jayasekera is the Founder and Editor of fullofetiquette.com; she is a regular advocate on the subject. She is an ACMA, CGMA; holds a BSc. Economics and Management; PG in IT and Diploma in Social Sciences. She is employed full time in the capacity of Chief Operating Officer at CL Synergy (Private) Limited; a Sri Lankan freight forwarding company. She is an ardent fan of the written word and has compiled content for numerous websites for search engine optimization (SEO) purposes, corporate profiles and blogs. She has experience in training corporate professionals on customer service and business etiquette. She conducts coaching sessions on etiquette for school children every now and then.