Can there be etiquette associated with paying compliments when you are only trying to be nice? Ever heard of being too nice or too sugary? Also, every heard of sounding insincere. So, you can probably catch my drift and my answer to the first question – which is YES.
Here are a few of the mistakes we could be making in our efforts to be nice from an etiquette point of view.
01. Know the Difference Between Gushing and Complimenting
When you pay a compliment, choose your words wisely so as to not sound like a freak or a would be stalker. Also, don’t launch a speech similar to that of a presidential candidate in length as you compliment the person. Keep it simple and to the point.
02. Compliment at the Correct Moment
Make sure you are in the right company as you compliment a person; it should not be embarrassing for you or the recipient as you sing your words of praise.
Also, if you pay the compliment two full hours after you see the person, it comes more like an afterthought with an ulterior motive than a compliment.
03.Dont’ Ask for Details as You Compliment
The where, the when, the price and the how are details that you have no right to ask for just because you pay a compliment. Those full of etiquette will neither ask for details nor will they divulge such details. Say it is beautiful and when the other person says thank you – be done with it!
04.Don’t Go On and On
Don’t make the person want to unleash the dogs on you by talking only about how good the food is or how beautiful or handsome the person is. It finally boils down to being plain annoying – yes, really! You thought you meant well? Unfortunately, everything is needed in the correct dosage.
05.Keep Quiet if You Don’t Mean It
Then there are those icy words of compliments that some people pay for no apparent reason. They reek of jealousy rather than happiness for the other person. Sometimes they are said because everyone else in the group says so. Make up your mind – either keep quiet while the other compliment or else, say it with some sincerity.
Compliments are about creating happiness for another and being equally happy about it yourself. Train yourself to say and receive these words of praise with grace. In my article on ‘Receiving Compliments‘ I gave some real life scenarios on how receiving compliments can go haywire.
Not sure whether you are guilty of gushing or whether you sound insincere? Write to us at fullofetiquette@gmail.com and we will help you figure it out.
Till I return with ‘Full of Etiquette’ next week, stay safe!
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Praveeni Jayasekera is the Founder and Editor of fullofetiquette.com; she is a regular advocate on the subject. She is an ACMA, CGMA; holds a BSc. Economics and Management; PG in IT and Diploma in Social Sciences. She is employed full time in the capacity of Chief Operating Officer at CL Synergy (Private) Limited; a Sri Lankan freight forwarding company. She is an ardent fan of the written word and has compiled content for numerous websites for search engine optimization (SEO) purposes, corporate profiles and blogs. She has experience in training corporate professionals on customer service and business etiquette. She conducts coaching sessions on etiquette for school children every now and then.
